Strong is the New Skinny
Everything I'm doing to get into the best shape of my life.
I had my daughter Freya just after I turned 38. I knew it would be my last pregnancy, my last postpartum experience, and that I would finally regain control of my body. Two kids. Two healthy—but traumatic—births. Two years (plus) of breastfeeding. My body had done a lot. And I was ready to make it mine again.
I’m a very goal-oriented person. I like having something I’m working toward and a timeline for it. So there I was, very pregnant and very miserable (I am not someone who enjoys pregnancy), envisioning myself on my 40th birthday being in the best shape of my life. Two years felt like a reasonable amount of time to make it happen.
Now, one month shy of 40 (with an 18-month-old in tow) I’ve been steadily working toward that goal.
But what does “best shape of my life” even mean?
As a nutritionist, I often hear people say they want to be “healthy,” but what they really mean is they want to drop two jean sizes. The line between “healthy” and “skinny” gets blurry fast. And I get it—I'm just as vain as the next person. I want to look good, feel confident in a bathing suit, and wear cute clothes, just as much as anyone (maybe more—I’m bad with the clothes).
But I also want energy. I want mental clarity. I want to sleep well, be strong, stay sharp, feel grounded. I want to be present with my kids and feel proud of the example I’m setting for them. I want check out the fun new restaurant, have a glass of wine and try the dessert. Basically, I want a lot of things—I’m a greedy b*tch.
Getting people to feel their best is quite literally my job. And as cheesy as it sounds, I know that when we heal from the inside, we tend to look better on the outside—our skin glows, our hair grows, our body settles into a comfortable weight, and we feel less anxious, more confident and just…better.
So in my pursuit of being in top form, I’ve focused less on the number on the scale or being “skinny” and more on improving my body composition—specifically, building muscle, supporting bone density, and reducing fat mass in a way that feels sustainable and strong.
I've been getting regular DEXA scans to track progress. These are quick and easy scans that tell you not just your body weight, but your fat, muscle mass, bone density and more. When comparing my results, here is what I have accomplished in the past year:
I’ve lost over 7 pounds of fat
Gained nearly 3 pounds of muscle
Dropped 5 pounds total, but reshaped my entire body
And brought my bone density from slightly below average to above average
My total weight only went down about 5 pounds, but my body composition is completely different—leaner, stronger, and more metabolically resilient. This is why I don’t chase the scale. I chase strength.
I can’t control time, but I can control how I treat my body, and you’re damn sure that I’m going to do that. There have been times in my life when I was 10 pounds heavier than I am now (and certainly less strong). In addition to not loving how my clothes fit, I also was anxious all the time and had less energy. So, in my pursuit of posting a bikini photo on my 40th birthday, I’ve also found my happy place.
If you’re feeling stuck, please know that you can do this too. In my client work, I see these transformations all the time (it’s the best part of my job). And research shows that you can improve your body composition at any age.
Okay, so here’s what I did (and what you can do, too):
1. LIFT HEAVY (and keep lifting heavier): Healthy muscle mass is everything. It helps with metabolism, weight management, blood sugar, hormones, posture, energy, bone health… all of it. Healthy muscle mass is also one of the biggest predictors of longevity. In fact, muscle is the only organ that can age backwards. Let that sink in.
Progressive overload is the name of the game—this basically just means doing a little more over time: more reps, more weight, harder variations. I recommend resistance training 3x a week with lots of walking and movement on the other days.
Personally, I think a gym is best because you’ll have access to heavier weights. I used to workout at home, but I plateaued and it’s hard to get heavier weights. A trainer is amazing, but if that’s out of your budget, you can use an app like Fitbod and Strong. You could also use these apps in combination with a home fitness program like Pvolve, which has a whole series for progressive overload.
Part of what I love about strength training is that you can measure it. I’ve given myself the goal to do 10 pull ups by my birthday. In January I couldn’t do 1, and on Wednesday, I did it. 10 pull ups. One month ahead of time!
2. EAT PROTEIN: If you’re trying to change, maintain or increase muscle mass while losing fat, protein is non-negotiable. Without it, you’ll lose muscle along with fat. I aim for ~30g per meal. Sometimes that looks like a shake, eggs and cottage cheese, a french lentil bowl with goat cheese and walnuts, greek yogurt, or just throwing together whatever protein and veggies I’ve got in the fridge. And if you follow my Sunday Meal Prep plans, you’re probably already on top of this ;)
3. SLEEP: Sleep affects everything—how you feel, how you recover, how your body holds onto fat, how hungry you are. I have learned so much about how to improve and prioritize my sleep by wearing an Oura ring. When I sleep well, I lift better, parent better, eat better. It’s boring, but it’s true.
4. MANAGE STRESS (even the sneaky kind): This one’s been big for me. Stress isn’t just feeling anxious, it’s also overdoing it, overthinking it, not setting boundaries, and saying yes to everything. When I’m stressed, my body holds onto everything. Strength training helps, but so do walks, phone boundaries (I’m bad at this), deep breaths, and reminding myself it’s okay to do less.
5. EAT REAL FOOD: This means lots of veggies, quality protein, healthy fats, fiber-rich carbs, and not a lot of processed, fried or sugary foods. When I eat this way, everything works better: energy, mood, digestion, workouts, sleep. Give your body the nutrients it needs to thrive and it will thrive.
Remember, results come from consistency, and you will never be consistent by being overly restrictive or eating food you don’t enjoy.
6. CREATINE DAILY: I take 5g of creatine monohydrate daily, and I really believe it’s helped with strength and recovery. It’s one of the most studied supplements out there, and it’s safe—even for women postpartum or in perimenopause. If you’re lifting, it’s worth considering. I like Arrae’s Tone gummies, MindBodyGreen’s Creatine + Taurine (25% off with this link), and Thorne’s simple creatine monohydrate.
If you think I’m doing this alone, you’re wrong. My husband Jamie has been doing the guy version of this. He’s also lost weight, gained muscle, and according to his recent labs from Function Health, he has a biological age of 32 (he’s 42, chronologically).
I’m getting my labs done next week and can’t wait to share what my “real” age is. Stay tuned…
And, if you want some extra support in feeling your best, I take a few new 1:1 clients each month and I have spots available for July. Learn more here.
Obsessed with everything you do
what is the reasoning behind creatine? I've been so intrigued by it lately!