Main Character Energy: Mom Edition

What moms actually want this Mother’s Day (besides not planning it themselves).

Today I’m taking a break from talking incessantly about eating 100 grams of protein (we’ll be back on this next week) to reflect on motherhood. I’m coming at this from a few perspectives: as a mother, a nutritionist who works with a lot of moms, and a daughter to a mother.

shocking how few photos I have with my kids — a photo session with Olivia Gerami is on my list for mother’s day :)

The shift from not being a mom to suddenly being responsible for another human’s physical and emotional wellbeing is one of the most profound changes a person can go through. Nothing prepares you for the moment you are quietly dethroned as the most important person in your own life.

I can be a little anxious and neurotic at times, and I worried that motherhood would completely consume me. I was surprised when it didn’t. Ozzie and Freya are my whole world—I’m truly obsessed with them—but my parenting motto has always been: Happy Mom, Happy Baby. I sleep-trained, I (try to) cook one dinner for everyone, and I chose the preschool with the longest hours—not just for their development, but for my sanity. When I feel rested and fulfilled, I’m a better mom and a better everything else. Maybe that sounds selfish, but this is what works for me.

No matter how you parent, it never comes without challenges. Momming is exhausting—especially when your kids are young. And if you want to be a mother and something else, you have to operate at an insanely high level just to feel remotely competent. I often feel like I’m failing at both—checking emails while with the kids, doing kid stuff when I should be working. It’s a constant juggling act, and I’m still figuring it out.

Maybe that’s why Mother’s Day feels so meaningful to me. I think about all the invisible things we do—making sure the clothes fit and are seasonally appropriate, that the snacks are stocked, doctor’s appointments are made, and that we RSVPd and have a dish for the school potluck…it’s a full-time job, often layered on top of another full-time job.

So yes, it’s nice to have one day where you’re the center of the world again.

My kids are still little, and I already feel that bittersweet tug when I look at old photos. It’s messy and fast and full of magic, and I want to be present for it—not just tired or running on fumes, but really in it. I’m in Mexico with Ozzie right now for a wedding—he’s my date and it’s the best, even if we got in argument about Mexican TV at 9:30pm last night (way past his bedtime).

So I carve out time for myself—not because I’ve mastered it, but because I know how quickly I fall apart when I don’t. I work for myself, which means I can go to the gym at noon, take calls while walking, or sneak in a manicure or lunch with a friend. My husband and I trade off so I can grab dinner with girlfriends or take a Pilates class on the weekend.

I take really good care of myself because I have to—and because it’s my job. I don’t have the luxury of chilling on the couch on the weekends. If I want to be the mom, the nutritionist, the wife, the friend—all the things—I need to feel sharp and confident. It’s still a work in progress. Some days it clicks, some days it doesn’t. But I feel the difference when I sleep well, move my body, eat nourishing food, take my supplements, and limit alcohol—all that “annoying” stuff I talk about actually does work. When I feel good about myself and am pursuing the things I love outside of my kids, I’m happier and more patient—which means more fun with the kids.

I’m in a few epic mom groups (aren’t mom groups the best?), and I recently asked some of my friends what they do to recharge—and what they actually want for Mother’s Day. These are not merely moms in the group chat, but women I deeply admire both for their mothering and for all the things they are outside of that. Here’s what they said:

Victoria de la Fuente

, author of Zillion Trillion
I have a few sacred rituals that keep me from unraveling completely. First—a Joe Dispenza 15-minute meditation, a couple times a week. Nothing fancy, but it recalibrates me. Second—weekly date night with my husband. Non-negotiable. When we don’t make that time, everything at home feels a little… crunchy. It’s not always glamorous it's but it’s our time to check in and actually see each other. And third—solo trips. Life-saving. I’ve started planning a couple of these a year—minimal luggage, maximum restoration. It’s not about escape—it’s about remembering who I am outside of snacks, screen-time limits, and scheduling chaos.

On her wishlist: The Boveda Boobs Charm—Iconic. Feminine, funny, and honestly…kind of essential.

Victoria’s coveted boobs charm | Soft Services Theraplush hand cream | 111Skin illuminating eye mask | Lorena Canals draw your own rug | Èliou fira bag charm | write “we love mom” on a Ghia Le Fizz bottle |Flamingo Estate weekly bloom bundle | Print from James Needham, Too Much Of My Heart | PERFECTWHITETEE Leyla sweat shorts in poppy with matching sweatshirt | Dorsey Kate riviera necklace | Janessa Leoné tinsley straw hat (+ a solo trip with girlfriends) | Lunya washable silk pajama set | Hannah de Bruyn freshwater pearl spinner necklace

Jane Stephens Rosenthal Cooke

, filmmaker and author of Poetry Is For The Mornings
It has taken me almost three years to get comfortable asking for what I need and then, the hard part, actually not feeling guilty about it… I became guiltless just about 3 weeks ago! One of the things I need to do for my art and soul is go to the movies. For a while I would just fit in whatever I could see in whatever small time slot I had, but now I am beginning to make it a regular thing. The movies is what I do, and making a plan to go is an honoring of my work and also of who I was before my daughter. It’s been a nice return to self and also then allows me to show up fuller in all motherhood activities.

On her wish list: Just a cup of coffee in bed while I am still waking up would be the most divine thing.

Fanny Singer, founder of Permanent Collection and the coauthor of the Green Spoon Substack
Seeing my friends is what keeps me grounded and happy—I’ve always been a facilitator of community, wherever I’ve lived, and I love bringing together groups of friends old and new around food. We almost always have people over for an early Sunday lunch or afternoon “linner.” For a time, right after my daughter was born, I was in a state of too much mental and physical chaos to host anyone and I felt genuinely isolated. I’m very happily back in the rhythm of weekly gatherings.

On her wishlist: Pretty much anything from the London-based jeweler Hannah de Bruyn’s new eponymous line.

Lacey White

, marketer and author of The Lacey List
Self-care is extremely important to me, especially now that I’m taking care of Elsie (now 16 months). On top of that, I’m working and find that if I don’t pause to do something for myself every week, I easily feel depleted. I love the “oxygen mask theory” which is a metaphor for self-care and well-being based on airplane safety instructions. If we, as mothers, neglect our own basic needs, we diminish our ability to support others (children, spouses, parents, colleagues, clients, etc.) in the long run. So, with this in mind, I refuse to feel guilty about prioritizing a bit of self care on a regular basis.

On her wish list: A lymphatic massage with Lisa Gainsley sounds lovely. Also maybe flowers, some really good Elsie snuggles and time with my family, the most underrated thing of all. 💛

Dorsey small heart ID bracelet | EREDE axel sapphire ring | The Mother Load by Sarah Hoover (+ maybe an afternoon alone to read) | THE GREAT quilted robe (my favorite thing in life) | May Lindstrom shimmery body and hair radiance oil | Print, Pablo Picasso The Great Motherhood (I found this at an antique shop then my husband surprised me with it few Mother’s Days ago and I cherish it!) | Comme Si cashmere socks (+ a massage!) | CESTA COLLECTIVE woven lunch pail (with no room for kid stuff) | Ossa pearl crossbody phone case | JULIETTA Thea rhodium-plated crystal and agate necklace (so beautiful, on my wishlist!) | Haven Well Within organic cotton linen costal strip pajama set | Lunya weighted silk sleep mask, a real treat!

Julia Sherman

, author of Salad for President
I am religious about exercise. When we had kids, my husband I promised each other that physical activity and giving one another the time and space to enjoy that regularly was a non-negotiable. So I do pilates and yoga when I need to get out and be quiet with myself and nobody’s needs but my own. Shopping the farmers market is “me time” masquerading as a household chore. That’s where I bump into so many friends and colleagues in the food industry, and where I zone out and think only of fruit and vegetables, and what I can’t wait to cook. Other than that, I love acupuncture. It’s a total escape for me, and I find it to be so effective in managing stress.

On her wishlist: I just went on a trip alone with my best friend of 20 years to Costa Rica. She has two kids the same age as mine, and we knew exactly what the other needed—a lot of quiet time, balanced with a lot of hand holding and intimate conversation, a week without alcohol and lots of stretching, reading, and going to bed shamefully early. I decided this is my new Mother’s Day gift — a chunk of time to reset, change my environment, and reconnect with another mom in my life who keeps me afloat.

And while this post is a reflection on motherhood, I want to acknowledge that this day can stir up all kinds of emotions—for those who have lost mothers, are longing to become one, or have chosen a different path entirely. If you’re not a mom, I hope these stories still speak to the bigger picture: how we care for ourselves, and how we honor the people who show up for others every single day.

And if you’re wondering about gifts? Mother’s Day isn’t the time for anything practical—please, no Dysons or Apple Watches. We want gifts that feel luxurious, thoughtful, and indulgent. And while almost many of the moms I spoke to wanted jewelry (nothing says you’re our rock quite like a rock) or solo time, some of the best gifts aren’t even things—they’re gestures. Small moments that say: I see you. I appreciate you. Take a load off.

Here are a few ideas I love:

✨ A Chef for the Week
Even if it’s just a few nights of prepped meals in the fridge, having dinner magically appear without grocery lists or dirty dishes is an underrated fantasy. Bonus points if that person also pack the kids' lunches. The Culinistas a great option if you’re in LA or NY, or Chef Dad works pretty well for this too (just follow my Sunday Meal Prep recipes, and you’re good Daddio!).

✨ Staycation with a Girlfriend
Book a hotel for her a few miles from home, coordinate with her best mom friend (or friends) so they can do absolutely nothing productive. Let them sleep in, order room service, gossip, sit by the pool, and remember who they are outside of the laundry pile.

✨ Closet Cleanout
You know how I feel about dressing the part. Feeling good in your clothes—especially after having kids—isn’t superficial, it’s foundational. Hire a stylist to help her rework what she already owns, while filling the gaps with thoughtful, wearable pieces that will help her feel your best. My go-to for this is Lizzy Seguin—I don’t make a purchase without her approval.

✨ A Flower Subscription
One bouquet is nice, but a regular delivery of fresh blooms? That’s a visual reminder, week after week, that someone appreciates you. Flamingo Estate does this in LA, but call your local florist and see what they can do.

✨ Professional Photography Session
I used to think staged photos were lame, but it’s so special to have photos with your kids. Because, let’s be real: us moms are never in the pictures. My go to in Los Angeles is my dear friend Olivia Gerami—she always finds a way to get the kids to look at the camera.

And if big gestures aren’t in the cards this year, know that the small things really do matter. A few no-fail, low-lift gifts that moms in my circle swear by:

• Coffee in bed (bonus points if it has collagen in it)

• A nap with no one climbing on you

• An hour of total silence (not running errands, not cleaning—just silence)

• A handwritten card that actually says what you appreciate about her

• A solo walk, no stroller in sight

• Time with the people she loves, without having to plan it (not making her plan her own Mother’s Day is a great start)

And a big thank you to Haven Well Within for supporting this post—check out their well-priced organic basics. I especially love their pajamas and sweaters.